Healing Punch











SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: Healing Punch
Float like a butterfly and sting like the bedside manner of Mother Teresa. As a superhero, sometimes you have to resort to violence. Too bad your ferocious fists instantly heal the damage you inflict. Whereas most punches would deliver a crushing Ivan Drago-like knockout. Yours leave your opponent feeling amazingly refreshed and rejuvenated. At least until he counters with an uppercut to your esophagus.

24 comments:

  1. hahaha definitely pretty useless... unless you work in a hospital

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  2. This is not useless... You can heal your allies with your punches.

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  3. Oh this is so not a useless superpower! This in more than just damage-to-opponents! This is like a cleric who can do unlimited heal and resurrect spells!! Seriously! Every good fighting guild needs a healer!

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  4. Reminds me an awful lot of some of the charismatic Christian churches I've been to....

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  5. Agreed, you will now assume the role of the healer.

    Well, only in melee range of course, but still.

    Also, can a person with this power hit himself/herself to heal? I mean, in case you yourself get shot in the battlefield while running to heal your friends...

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  6. I think it is in fact very useful to have a puchealer on your side of the battle. It is disguting to receive a punch from a friend on the back of your head in the middle of a battle, but i would deal with it.

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  7. @Mairs:
    The power of my fist compels you!

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  8. i think it is useless because it says it heals the damage you deal. so you do damage, then you instantly heal that damage, pretty much leaving the "victim" at status quo

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  9. Yawn. What happened to this blog? Wasn't it funny just a few scant weeks ago?

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  10. Yeah, I think it just heals the damage you inflict. Pretty useless indeed!

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  11. This ability renders your fists useless when needed in battle. That's what makes it absurd. The ability to bring healng through punches, however, very helpful. If a machine gun was smashed, could you punch it until it came back together?

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  12. BTW, the charismatic Christian church comment was priceless!

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  13. Its useless..the copy says "instantly heal the damage YOU inflict". so if your ally has damage from someone else, he can't help.

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  14. This might be a useless superpower, but you could be a fantastic stunt double (or star) in a superhero movie!

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  15. I think it only heals your opponent from the punch you just threw. It's like the "Psychic Amnesia (Mementodamus)
    This superuseless superhero foresees the future while instantly forgetting anything he has just foreseen. Known in some circles as Untotal Recall." from a few entries ago.

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  16. You should be able to hurt the undead because healing actually damages them. According to D&D rules.

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  17. It says it leaves your opponents feeling "amazingly refreshed and rejuvenated," which implies that there is a net benefit from it. And yeah, it would be good if you were a stuntman. If you absolutely had to fight you could always use weapons, I suppose?

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  18. Wow really very nice and good information you share here. I read your entire post and really superb information you share here on funny stuff thanks for your information.

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  19. This superpower is actually the central premise of a Japanese manga called "Hikkatsu," published in 2005. The main character has the ability "repair blow," which can fix both appliances and human injuries.

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  20. I would happily have this power just so that I could have people thank me for beating the shit outta them. The human population would be my punching bag, and they'd like me for it.

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  21. Haha, this would be a perfect power of there was a zombie apocalypse, provided we're going by Revive Kills Zombie rules!

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