Laser Pointer Vision*


SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: Laser Pointer Vision*
Your gaze isn't strong enough to burn through anything, just strong enough to point things out. Makes prolonged eye contact particularly awkward and painful during romantic dinners and job interviews.

*This superuseless power comes to us from none other than Christian Lander, author of the blog and now book, Stuff White People Like. SWPL is one of our favs, so if you haven't checked it out, do so right this minute...

13 comments:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 19, 2009 at 11:41 PM

    HAhahaha, that's a good one!!

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  2. MrDave2176February 20, 2009 at 7:28 AM

    Does he have to wear a sticker?
    "Direct eye contact with this individual may damage your retina or cause optical nerve damage."

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  3. RandyFebruary 20, 2009 at 7:43 AM

    Actually, you wouldn't be able to see the beams, unless he's in a Dusty or Smokey environment. You would only see the dots on the surface of whatever he's looking at. If he looks at a Prisim, or a diamond, it would produce some interesting results.

    He would likely have a hard time dealing with Law enforcement.

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  4. AnonymousFebruary 20, 2009 at 7:46 AM

    Yeah, but it might also remove a cataract! He may even have a built-in CD player!

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  5. AnonymousFebruary 20, 2009 at 5:32 PM

    It would also be fun for his cats. And funny when they attacked her ass.

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  6. Mama Bee SimpleFebruary 22, 2009 at 3:52 AM

    hahaha :) great blog!

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  7. iamnotsteveFebruary 22, 2009 at 2:16 PM

    These are always good for a laugh. Keep them coming.

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  8. AnonymousFebruary 24, 2009 at 1:17 AM

    hey that's my power :(

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  9. AnonymousFebruary 24, 2009 at 4:25 AM

    this one is totally my favorite!

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  10. decompositionFebruary 25, 2009 at 8:23 PM

    This might be useful if he stared straight into the eyes of the bad guy, otherwise at least you get to wear cool shades all the time.

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  11. decompositionFebruary 25, 2009 at 8:23 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  12. MattheaFebruary 26, 2009 at 1:00 PM

    I love this one! Nice illustration, too. Agree with comment about the cats. Laser pointer vision good for making cats attack cute girls' bums.

    teehee.

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  13. mark fellowsMarch 27, 2011 at 3:22 PM

    This one is by far my favorite! A useful tool for the wife to observe where my eyes would be though!

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