Mamavision, a.k.a. PreMOMnition

The power to see what your mother is doing at all times. PreMOMnition cannot be turned off and operates similar to picture-in-picture technology, so your mom is ALWAYS in your field of vision. Oh, and good luck trying to get laid. Even viagra can’t combat real-time images of your mom waxing your father’s back.

[Congratulations Antelieris! It was tough, but yours was the superest-uselessest. Check out a couple "honorable mentions" after the jump!]


  1. Shout out to...

    CAPTAIN HAIRY: "Backflap"...making birds fly backwards
    we also liked ERIC: ability to levitate birds...

    MATDA59: "Piss-portation" [please check out his drawing in theSUPERUSELSS FORUMS halfway down the page...]

    to be continued...

  2. Hahahahaha, ok ok, PrMOMnition is pretty useless and stupid --not to mention that I wouldn't like to see my mom on a date or sth. But The ability to levitate birds actually made me laugh... Pleaase post it!

    PS. I'm still laughing at it...

    PS2. I think I may post something of the likes myself if it's alright with you... Levitate birds..

  3. Agreed, the bird levitation one made me laugh, I love that one!

  4. Holy crap O-O!!

    I totally didn't expect to win. There were definitely a lot of good ideas in the comments, so I figured I'd be a runner up at max. But to win... I feel happy.

    What's my prize >.>?

  5. haha thats great! ability to levitate birds is classic too

  6. hahahaha really nice one!

    love it so much

  7. Great super useless power. But what a laugh! lol

  8. The levitate birds power is an old Steven Wright joke:
    "I can levitate birds, but nobody cares"


    Translated :) really cool ideas, LMAO.

  10. 2 Tired:
    The ability to turn yourself into an exact replica of any tire that has been removed from a vehicle. However, if a flat tire is removed, then you also become a flat tire.

  11. Non-Lingual: This SuperUseless power gives you the permanent ability to speak the exact opposite language of the person you encounter... whether you like it or not. She talks to you in English.. You speak back to her in Japanese. He talks to you in Italian, you talk back to him in Swiss.

  12. The O-C-D-estroyer

    He has the power cosmic, but msut constantly wash his hands.

  13. He talks to you in Italian, you talk back to him in Swiss.

    "Swiss" isn't a language. It's a nationality. Switzerland has four official languages: Italian, French, German, and Romansh.

    German is the only one of the four that's not a Romance language.

  14. Seeing your Mom could be very useful if you're doing some kind of joint mission with her. "OK, Mom's successfully gotten through the door to the secret hideout, now I need to create a diversion!"